Metametametadata

What do you think about this?

Courtesy the Underlib

It started out innocently enough.

I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably
though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a
social thinker.

I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it
wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and
finally I was thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment
don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at
lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is
it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had
turned off the TV and asked my husband about the meaning of life. He
spent that night at his mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called
me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this,
but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop
thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I
confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," He said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," He said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as
college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so
if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and he began to cry.

I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped
out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR
on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big
glass doors . they didn't open. The library was closed. To this day,
I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering
for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking
ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard
Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a
recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was
"Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking
since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot
better at home.

Life just seemed ... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
Soon, I will be able to vote Republican.